Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Update on my life

I haven't blogged in so long that blogger had time to change and it's disconcerting to find how white everything is and how I have to search for small things but still the upgrade is very welcome.


Have you ever noticed how we all promote middle class values and take pride in it. Of course by we I mean everybody who is middle class and the biggest brand ambassador of it Miss Ekta Kapoor and all her dreadful shows. How we have our accomplishments based on merit and yada yada. It's all great because I am from a middle class family and never did I feel even for a second I am inferior to the elite (not that I met any) nor did I feel I have to own brands to belong. But one of my friends told me I'm posing as a middle classer, showing fake modesty she told me I'm from the High-society minus the money. I don't know what to say, what is that supposed to mean? How can you be rich without money?!! Sometimes people say the most stupidest things and you're left thinking about it until it hits you: they're nuts.


I got a blackberry torch a while back, and now I'm busy downloading all the coolest apps:

Like Shazam: to recognize the song playing in a pub or a movie, I've wanted this for the longest timeEvernote: can help you keep notes, very cool because you can search images and do loads, 'm still discovering it
Indian Recipes: just in case I discover a hitherto unknown desire to cook
Guidepal Paris,
Whatsapp messenger: you can send free smses between using your number between people who own this app
Deezer: for music duh
And the mother of all applications meant only for girls so guys skip the next few lines: it's called Period Deluxe Calendar( IP free is also good) it allows to keep track of menstrual cycle, you can save the symptoms according to day, and it will tell you when you are due, how many days are left, on which day are you, how long do you last, and best of all it has a password to open it, so if your phone lands in children hands they can't access it


Other than that I've made new friends and I'm really sad I met them only now before leaving...but still it's fun


My mom and all my rishtedar are after my sister to get married, it was entertaining to poke fun at her in the beginning years but now it's such a boring topic. After all if a girl is not married she is not happy or settled and is a "burden" on her parents. If you ask me the girl is very happy before marriage and goes in for hell later. My own personal views, you don't have to agree. Now my mother is saying now it's my turn, that she'll get me married, so that my sister in a fit of jealousy will get married too. Wow. Just amazing. Getting people married so that they live unhappily ever after is the obsession of every aunty I know. I think it's a bit sad that if my sis doesn't want to get slaughtered I should become the next bakra. But if you're a Desi girl you have to go through this.


Other than that I'm searching ways to get fit. I tried looking into the Kareena Kapoor diet, but I think I'll have to buy the book which I'm really not keen on doing. I may be over-weight or a voluptuous babe but that is no reason for people to give me unhelpful tips on how to lose weight. Waise bhi I cannot tolerate unsolicited advice. Advice, fundas, gyan that come at the drop of a hat. EXCUSE ME!!! BUT IS IT WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD THAT I WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR RUBBISH?!!!!!!


That's all for now folks,Peace Out

Nice Song

Vampire Mania

Is it just me or is being a vampire the new fad. Vampires, Werwolves everywhere. First it was the twilight craze, now it's Vampire diaries. Whewwwwww now people actually want to be bloodsucking vampires, and notice how they are unbelievably good looking too. I want one of them too now!!!!
Of course now they are depicted with a conscience (Angel),as a vegetarian (twilight) and very much in love (the vampire diaries). It's the eternal love story, doomed from the start, good versus evil, dark versus light, human versus vampire. It seems to work predominantly for girls in their tweens, teens and a few adults.

DSK

Does anyone remember the Tiger Woods scandal, how when one affair was revealed it led to a deluge of one-night stands coming to light. Now it seems the same is happening to Dominique Strauss Kahn, one case just got done (although they are appealing), and now there is Tristane Banon accusing him of attempt to rape in 2003. At first it seemed she was milking this opportunity for publically bashing DSK, but now she has come with tangible proof and not just her own words. People were doubting her word because she is accusing him now 8 years later. Now to top that, his previous affairs are coming to light, all when he was married, first an employee at the World Bank, and now a jurist who said she had a year long affair with him. Another blow on his already hugely tarnished image. Now I can't help wondering if all these accusations are real. Cheating, multiple affairs, manipulative, asshole he defintely is but rape is another thing, you really have to be depraved to sink to that level. I can't help feel bad for someone who represented a lot of hope for people who were against right and extreme right gaining power in France. The only person happy with this development, indeed possibly throwing parties would be Sarkozy and the UMP, he was about the only strong person in a imploded PS party. He was highly respected, spoke with clarity about dense economic problems. His interviews show how charming he was, he could charm viewers through a screen, so in person it was lethal. People would be chanting his name for the presidential elections for 2012, now of course they spit on his name. Over active libido ruined his career , his image. I can't comment if he actually raped the girl, because initially I didn't believe it at all, so high was his integrity considered, but now I am less and less sure at his morals. Somebody who did so much for development could be a closet scum bag is hard to digest, could the opposition party be behind it. I don't know and most likely not. More comes to light and we will be able to know beyond a shadow of a doubt what exactly he is capable of.

Watching Indian classics

*Sholay: I finally bought this movie, have been meaning to watch this movie for ages. It's funny how I knew every dialogue, every character, every song, every scene and yet not all of them in one flow. An Indian western which truly has everything: music, romance, drama, comedy. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Recommended to anybody who hasn't watched this movie(if that is possible).


* Dilwale Dulhaniya le Jayenge: NRI love story, touches the heart more and I love SRK-Kajol. First part is the best, the second half is quite traditional (which completely fits with the NRI part coz usually NRI's tend to either over westernized or super traditional-my example being the Kenyan Indians).
In the latter part of the story SRK is very irritating and the saving grace is the music.


* Bobby: Another iconic movie, mostly because Dimple Kapadia is very sexy and wears revealing clothes. Whatever, it's still a sweet movie, it didn't seem so shocking to me but 70's time was more conservative.


* Deewar: Finally watched this iconic movie, and there was no overacting and over the top drama. I finally understood the mandir jokes: when Amitabh Bachchan asks god to spare his mother's life "maine aaj tak tujhse nahin manga" or when he comes to die at the mandir holding the bells "maa, mein aa gaya". Other then that, it's a typical seventies movie, the story starts with the protagonists as children, and then tragedy strikes, they are victims of injustice at the hands of a cruel rich man(notice how in the 70's all the cruel people are also very rich). Cut to 20 years later the children grow into Amitabh Bachchan and Shashi Kapoor who ultimately face each other as one is a cop and the other a crook. The whole film has a lot of symbolic scenes and poetic dialogues. A very moralistic tale, how good triumphs over evil.


* Amar Akbar Anthony: A bit long and nonsensical. Seems like it was made for national integration. Unbelievable miracles happen like the mother Nirupa Roy loses her eye sight because of an accident, yet she doesn't go to the doctor but accepts that she'll be blind for the next 22 years. Then miraculously she goes to Shirdi Wale Sai Baba's temple falls on his feet and -wait for it- her eyesight comes back. Amazing! Yet at these medical miracles no one is astounded but accepts it as God's will. I think the only reason I somewhat liked the movie because I knew all the songs and have seen it in bits and pieces over the years. And I can never really hate a Bollywood movie no matter how bad.


* Kabhi kabhie: Very good movie, the poetry is beautiful, but not as much as Udaan's although the music is better. I won't relate the story as it's highly probable everyone has seen it. One of the parts I liked the best was when Amitabh Bachchan playing a rejected lover wallows in his misery for close to 20 years, yes that's right 20 years, he obviously wnat to draw inspiration from his self-inflicted pain but claims to have left poetry, not to mention his disdain and hypocrisy toward his wife (she had an illegitimate daughter before her marriage) shows just how human he is, and not a hero that fights the system. The best part being that he understands the importance of making peace with his past and finally leaving his past behind, and of course accepting his wife for what she is. It's quite a complicated tale told very fluidly.

There is a huge difference between a mother and an elder sibling, it might seem like the elder sibling (brother or sis) is a parent figure, someone who cares for you in every circumstance, and they might feel the same way but don't kid yourself. The love, generosity, benvolence your parents will have for you noone else possibly can. There is no replacement for that, so every time an elder sibling tries to dominate you and pass it off as love be sure to snap and fight it. Many siblings don't want the other to do better or are just used to interfering/ controlling their life. When you are in a postion of force why would you let it go. So be confident, don't take their criticism to heart and live your own life.

Phenomenal Woman-Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Blogging

One of the important things to remember while blogging is that you are here because you want to be, so remember this has to stay pleasurable, don't try too hard, just put down your thoughts or something that interests you. Be sure you like reading and writing, blogs are mainly a reading and writing medium. Although most bloggers tend to be avid readers. The blogging world is quite large and growing everyday so you have to try and stay regular so that people who visit again have the chance to read a new post, if you post something once a month, you readership will definitely dwindle down to nothing and you will be faced with the demotivated sign of having the zero number on your comments tab. Blogs don't get overnight success,it takes time. Blogs require regular attention, daily posts might not be possible but aim at one post every two or three day. Staying motivated to write can be tough, you can join communities like Nablopomo, it brings in discipline. Blogging is not homework it's a hobby but if you want to reap the benefits(and there are many) of blogging you will have to invest in your time. If you are too busy with work or studies you can schedule posts, but bear in mind that blogging also entails moderating comments, replying to comments, building a network by reading posts and commenting on them. Blogging is not as easy as it looks from the outside.
Another important thing is to always reply to comments and be careful with the responses (rudeness does not help), it's blogging courtesy, and to create interest in your own blog, go on blogs that you like and leave comments, they will probably come back to your blog and comment which can build online friendships. Many people treat their blogs as personal diaries so be gentle with your comments. Blogging is an act in which you put yourself in the public eye up for criticism and people will talk about you, it doesn't stay anonymous for too long. What you post online is not always deleted after you've pressed the delete button, there are services that find your writing even when the blog is deleted.


There are some posts that tend to do well: Personal posts(this always touches the heart), Case study of a current issue (for example eve teasing in delhi, it's bound to bring attention) and making lists (it's easy to read through), of course there are many others but here I'm giving examples.
The biggest ego buster is that sometimes bloggers feel they can write anything on their blog and people will read them! Ha! NO way will they read anything until they are enticed into it or find it interesting, also plz check what you are writing, you cannot right nonsense, internet makes information easier so people will check you facts. Before publishing try proofreading your posts(checking through the facts,typos, grammatical mistakes)

I hope this post will provide some useful tips to bloggers

Keep writing

On having siblings

This post is inspired by madmomma and thebride.
Having siblings is something you don't particularly think about unless you yourself are starting a family. But if I have kids I would give my children the gift of sibling companionship. Having a brother or a sister is something special, they are your companions in a way no one else can really understand, they understand private family jokes, they understand your thought process, they will be there when most people will run away. In many ways they are a gift. But no relationship is set in stone, no relationship comes with guarantees. When you grow there is a certain level of respect and space you have to give each other. Something I think sorely lacks in desi family setups, often the older used to being bossy stays dominating their whole life. A pity because you only get to experience the relationship in one sense: of domination which after the years holds no place. Eventually we all grow and gain experiences that make us just as deserving of equality. We pride ourselves on giving respect to our elders and forget that younger ones are just as deserving of that respect. It's easy to view someone from just one shade of coloured lenses, to remember that in school they were naughty and the older one was the one responsible. So 5 years or 25 years down the line they will bring out the same argument, they refuse to accept that people change. Everyday of your life is a new day, each day you live differently, each day you grow. People change, things change, three years down the line I will be someone quite different yet people still see me as what I was aeons ago. It's easy to say don't care what people say, but when it's people you love who say such stuff it's hurtful and extremely annoying not to mention frustrating. It's like you are expected to prove yourself all the time and when as humans you make a mistake they will remember the mistake and take it out to remind you why you shouldn't make your life decisions or think for yourself. It's almost like somewhere they relish your mistakes and failures and keep a diary of everything you have done wrong.

Anyway I digress, back to my own sibling story. We are two sisters in the family: me and Di. DI is 5 years older than me, which is quite an age gap when you are growing up. Maa tells me I idolised my sister as a child, I wanted to wear everything she wore, eat what she ate, have the same blanket, have the same pen, and followed her everywhere. For the longest time I looked up to her for nearly everything. She also took a lot of care of me, she would change my diapers, take care of me at parties, but when she entered her teens and I became the bratty younger sis, we sort of saw each other as a nuisance. Didn't talk to much unless it was to steal her erasers or some pen, or even fight for papa's attention. The usual sibling experience if you ask me: constant bickering and making up minutes later. Di was a strong presence in my childhood. But when I was 12 she left home for college and I started seeing her on holidays once or twice year. And sadly at that period papa also left the house to setup a new business in another country, so he also was rarely at home. Me and Maa were the only two at home, and I became incredibly close to her, I spent an enormous amount of time with her, I would share all my secrets with her. Nearly everything including boys and who I had a fight with, and that's when I discovered how wise my mom is: her advice is always right, I always regretted not listening to her, she always gave the best advice. She knew all my friends, they all knew her, she gave me a lot of space to grow while maintaining a very keen eye on me without my ever finding out. BY the time I reached high-school she had become my most trusted confidante and a good friend, almost like a sister. She always had the courage to see me in a different light and to push me to grow.

When finally it was my time to leave the nest for college, I was slightly apprehensive living with my sister. She is a difficult person, headstrong, stubborn if you will, messy and overly maternal when it comes to me. It's not a happy feeling having two mothers on your back. And when I did start to live with her, many of my fears did come true like how she used to talk about me like I'm still 12 and took me for granted. But in many ways I did rediscover my sister, it's strange that you could be a little cold with your own sister but it did happen, we were a little formal. It took perhaps one month for that civility to pass. Fairly quickly we were close again and I was surprised to discover how motherly I had become of her, I file her papers, post important letter because she gets worried about them. A constant fun companion who laugh at each others jokes even when no one else finds them funny. In my memory we were not compared often(we were usually confused as being close friends) and how would they because we are diametrically opposite people. I'm bit of an extrovert, she's an introvert, we look very different, we have contrary views about the lives we wish to live, about futures, the way we think, talk and behave. I am impulsive and often blurt anything that is on my mind. She thinks a lot and is extremely cautious. I'm organized, she's messy. Poles apart.
Even if at home we constantly fight it would take about half a second for us to unite if a third party attacks one of us, we are fiercely protective about each other. I'm the first one to point out my sister's flaws, but if anyone even mentions them I can practically feel my blood boil in rage and fumes of anger coming out of me. Because this is what it means to have a sibling, having a family always by your side even after your parents have passed away, someone who will be by your side through thick and thin, someone you love so dearly that you would take a bullet in your heart for them. And paradoxically wish to wring their neck about ten times a day.

45 lessons

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written.”

1.Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. (the best advice)
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. (essential yet so difficult)
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. (the reason why jealousy serves no purpose)
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. (very true)
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you no one else.
20. When it to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion, today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time. (not always, some feuds last for generations)

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. (thank god for it)
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is waste of time. You already have all you need. (important lesson)
42. The best is yet to come
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Suicide

People in depression are very demanding and selfish people, ask anybody who deals with them on a daily basis.

Anyway the point of the post is the suicides about people who are in depression.

There are a whole lot of reasons for people for going into depression: loss of a loved one, loss of self confidence, repeated failure, childhood trauma that resurfaces, an accident........ These can trigger an onset of emotions that are so powerful that you can turn into the sad old jane who has a rainy cloud above her head, permanently gloomy, and so much pain, the pain is unbearable as it is constant. And when I say constant I mean in your sleep, in your dreams, when you close your eyes, when you are reading, when you are watching a movie, when you are talking to someone, the cloud of gloominess is right there threatening to shower you in your own tears. The tears pour out of you like a leaky faucet that no one can fix. Time heals everything. So you wait for time to come and heal you, you let days pass, then months, before you know it it's been years and you realize why clichés are called clichés because it doesn't apply for everything and everyone. As you're waiting on the sidewalk hopeful that time will eventually help you ,you realize that time helped others but just not you.

So many years of pain is more torture than if somebody cut of a limb, you think hey why not end this life because it would mean the end of pain, you love life but the release of pain is something you want more than living this life so you go ahead and search ways to end it, at last I will be free you think but as opportunities come and go you don't do it.

Even a miserable life is worth it

Millennials

Every generation is given a tag that describes the general behavior of those people born in a certain time frame, like say babies born post second world war are Baby Boomers? After that there was Generation X, then Generation Y and now Millennials. The need to categorize every few decades is for sociological research that helps in marketing and managing the new work force. Basically for business needs.

Recently I came across this article describing the people born between 1980 and 1995, which is basically me. I'm a millennial. Some the points described are accurate so here I'm sharing with you:

-Millennials are tech savvy, with lots of gadgets at their disposal

-They multitask, many windows open at the time, listening to music while writing offical letter and in between checking facebook and tweeting from time to time. A coffee break and they'll be texting while gossiping. Whether they multitask effectively or not, they will multitask

-Millennials are hard working, enormously clever and resourceful with tools to get things done

-Sometimes called the trophy generation, they are used to winning, getting what they want, they tend to be fiercely competitive

-In the corporate culture they assertively seek more feedback, responsibility and involvement in decision making

-Millennials have an interest in volounteerism, and interest in the world around them

-This group is more educated, have less ethnic, gender or geographic boundaries, They celebrate diversity

-They seek leadership, and even structure, from their older and managerial coworkers, but expect that you will draw out and respect their ideas.

-Millennials seek a challenge and do not want to experience boredom. Used to balancing many activities such as teams, friends, and philanthropic activities, millennials want flexibility in scheduling and a life away from work.

Musings on my name

A name largely becomes part of your identity. I'm 'fraid this statement is true, otherwise my name would have been changed long ago to Tanvi. My name is persistently misspelled, now when I was a nubile young girl of 12 I would fume in rage when instead of Shubhra I would find my name on sheet as Chou-brah or Shubala, are they even remotely close? But after some time of relentless mistakes I didn't mind the mistake but as soon I was called in class I would spell out my name at top speed.

Living in India this sort of problem would never arise, that is comforting but I don't live in India and have never lived in India so in a hypothetical situation I would be happy with my name.

The other side of having such a unique name is that people can't say it properly, anybody who starts calling me with Shu-some-ending, I accept that as being my name. It might seem childish but try living with a very changeable name, not to mention most of the time people simply don't remember it. Very insulting if you repeatedly forget someone's name, really, but people defened themselves by spouting out word to word the conversation we had when we met. Grrrr I have to forgive them and blame my name instead. Over years I have developed helpful tips to remember my name, like call me Shubhi or Snow-white because Shubhra means holy white.

And as the biggest sign of my maturing I don't mind the way people twist my good name.
Oh my god I'm growing old

Obama, Obama, Obama

Bin Laden is dead!!
The reason why 9/11 happened, the reason wars on Afghanistan and Iran happened. He is finally dead, and if you are to watch CNN, you will see emotional reporters with cracked voices interviewing people crying with grief, relief and chants of USA. Indeed you slap USA and they will take revenge with every drop of their blood. And finally we have a Hollywood style victory, helicopters lowered in his compound and brave American soldiers skillfully kill him. The most powerful country in the world has won after 10 years. His death is long ever due if you ask me
And Sunday night as Obama held a press conference that Bin Laden is dead, you could practically see the polls going over board in his favor, how once again he is the messiah he was before the elections. And seeing him in television, you could only sigh Obama, Obama, Obama in gratitude for doing something Bush evidently couldn't. You begin to dream again about the glorious president when a few weeks ago you found him a charismatic campaigner and a not so able presidents. Obama, Obama, Obama you have won our hearts again. But how long before the next heart break

VJ4CZTX42E4W

Teenage years

Teenage years, one of the supposedly traumatic years, where you rebel against pretty much anything, and mostly for no other reason than to rebel. Or so they say.
My memories of my teenage years are very tame, I didn't party too much but there wasn't much opportunity for it either. I wasn't rude to my parents, I didn't hate them, I told my mother practically everything, from the guys I liked to who I had a fight with. I went to class, I studied. I had dreams and was content with my life at home. Now for the other part: I had huge self esteem issues. I used to think I'm super duper ugly, fat and hairy. Of course now when I look at my pictures from that time I realise how completely foolish I was.

I just makes me realise that all the crap you see and hear about phases of life you are supposed to have. Or how each phase of life should be lived is complete and utter crap. How people having read some article tell you how to live your life. It's incredible indeed since noone fits the norm, noone fits the perfect model. How do you really define normal? is it agreeing with everything your parents tell you,or is it thinking completely by yourself and making your own choices. You ask anyone and they have their own opinion on what a rational person is.

The fact is there is no rational person, so next time anyone expresses disapproves of you, judges you, there is no need to take it as little sharp edged arrows placed in your chest that you have to painfully pluck out

Either way by the generationals

I’m just a man you got me running head long into the neon lights
I want to keep it to myself girl
I don’t want to let you out of my sight
I can’t set my mind on anything
And I’m telling everyone around
Now I know
I don’t know how
But this one is an original
If it makes you happy even if it kills me
You’re the person that would tell me
Either way you’re with me
I try to listen to my head and come back with nothing back but badadabum bum
I wasn’t lying when I said I was afraid that you could tell that I’ve been running all the films
And now I’m gonna have to see you again
And I know I’m gonna have to do it so
I know now
I don’t know how
This one is an original
And now my song is part of so many words
And now my head’s spinning every way and it’s the sound of my own racing heart that keeps me up at night
And when I walk around I hear them saying that my feet are not on the ground
I know now
I don’t know how
This one is an original
If it makes you happy even if it kills me
You’re the person that would tell me
Either way you’re with me

Circle of life

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle of Life

Death has a way of sneaking up on you, grabbing you by the balls and forcing to face the undeniable truth: you can't stop time, you can't stop aging, you can't stop the fact that one day you will turn to dust and people will forget you. A horrid truth, something we shove at the back of our head to be able to stay sane, we have a calculated memory loss, how else would we be able to survive the day to day mundane life. Really how? Death can make everything you do seem worthless and empty, trivial to the point of absurdity.
So is forgetting death the only way to lead a "normal life"?
I think there are ways to look at death, ways to experience the death of other people and to contemplate our own, that allow us to feel the value of life without denying the finality of death.
My great sense of comfort comes from my belief in a higher being, in my belief of having a soul, that there is something after my death. I will not die after my heart starts beating, I will simply join the universe and feel a sense of contentment that is divine, a peace that I do not experience anymore. Death is not something to be scared of, to be feared, it is a way of expanding myself to the whole universe. There are far more sufferings in this living world than after it. This is my faith. Is there than a reason to mourn the dead, the people who have attained blissful happiness. Is not my aching for them, when I cry out for them am I not crying for myself. For my wish for them to be with me, to comfort me, for me to comfort them. My own selfish reasons, my longing for their company. But they do not need me, I need them. They have reached the perfect place, a place where their is no misery. They have gone. Gone to another place where honoring their memory does not hold value for them but for our own guilt ridden conscious of how we are living and they are not.

To end this post I leave you with this poem by Mary Frye:
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I have not left.

Disclaimer: I am not sad or depressed. I am not jealous of the dead, it's what I have felt in the past. Death brings an a chasm of unexplainable grief. And it's with time and perspective that I have been able to put words on the pain.

Babies

I think I have finally reached my quota of kids I can fit in my heart , after Urvashi and Aayushi there wasn't much space left for anyone else. People tell me I'm a loving person, but my heart is full now, makes me even more adamant that I won't have children, that and pain during child-birth

I see loads of kids, and take care of them, courtesy my babysitting jobs, and only few of them have I cared about, which is why I really think that mothers should take care of their own kids because nobody other than you can love your snotty brats.

The only babies I like are the ones that can talk, walk on their own, are clean, fed and watered

Books versus movies

It has been proven that your brain is more active while sleeping that it is watching tv, when you're reading you brain is more active

Books make you use your imagination, movies corrupt it, they challenge perceptions. ex: can anyone read Harry Potter today, and not see the characters from the movies? Films leave little to viewers’ imaginations. When you read, you’re creating your own movie, You may find yourself disappointed by movie versions that don’t live up to your imagination.

Books increase your vocabulary, grammar

Nine times out of ten something important is missing (left out) or just doesn’t add up to how things are in the novel

When you read a novel you see how the author envisioned the story, not how someone else sees it. Next time you see a movie based on literature, pick up the book and read it to see how they compare to each other. There's a higher probability of the book being better.

Although not all movie versions are better than books. Most will agree that a film like The Godfather is better than the book. Few people reread Mario Puzo’s novel with fervor, but many watch this film again and again. To most Godfather fans, Francis Ford Coppola significantly improved on the book . (other examples include Nicholas Sparks books, and Marc Levy books).

Any more inputs my dear readers?

The most famous books that are unreadable

1. Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie:

I will bow to the person who has ever managed finishing this book, it is completely boring, goes nowhere and you're left wondering why on earth you have this book in your hand when it should be thrown in the fire. I personally feel that Salman Rushdie and The government of India had a secret arrangement to ban the book, because had the book not been banned it would have never been this famous. Or maybe by banning the book the government was actually taking care of its citizens. Whatever it was, the book is just plain bad.

2.Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell

As Rhett Butler famously said : Frankly, I don't give a damn. An opulent drama about a rich spoilt girl who finds true love , at least that's what I understand from the trailer of the movie, believe it or not the movie is longer than the book, you can take a nap while watching the movie, and when you get up it's not over, then you take another nap and bloody hell it's still not over!

3.Lord Of The Rings

A huge fan following, movies made, forums, on must-read lists, die-hard fans and what not but you open the book and the first thing you must do is learn about the hobbits, their lifestyle, their eating habits, their culture, I mean enough are we in an anthropological class here.

4. War and Peace by leo Tolstoy

The sheer size of it makes me run away

5.In search for Lost time by Marcel Proust

I found it extremely slow paced and boring. This is Proust’s most prominent work, it is popularly known for its extended length and the notion of involuntary memory, the most famous example being the “episode of the madeleine” in which he describes in great (boring) detail, eating a madeleine dipped in tea.

6.Shakespeare books/plays

Everyone is crazy about this dude but how on earth do they understand him, he writes in old english verse, I would understand latin better than what he writes. I can take a dictionary and check out every word but not get the sentences. Bleh

Fads of the last decade

YouTube
mini skirts with leggings
skinny jeans
iPods
Emo style
Wii
American Idol/Indian Idol/Nouvelle Star
Flare Jeans
Blogging
High School Musical
Dance Shows
Himesh Reshmiya Songs
Wikipedia
Wikileaks
Robotic Pets
IPL
Metrosexuality
Reality TV Shows
Atkins / Low Carb Diets
Harry Potter Books
Energy Drinks (Red Bull)
Razor Scooters
Dragonball Z
Texas hold 'em Poker
Free/ Tivo
Speed Dating
Thongs
Text messaging
Hannah Montana and High School Musical
Environment Friendly
Oversized sunglasses
Ring Tones
Gel pens
Hybrid cars
TV/DVD screens in cars
Using Online Slang In Speech (OMG, BRB, etc.)
Bluetooth
World of Warcraft
P2P File Sharing (Napster, Kaaza,Torrent etc.)
Twilight saga
The Da Vinci Code
Low Rise Jeans
Wireless Camera Phones
Botox
Social Networks (Hi5/Orkut/Myspace.com/Facebook.com)
Sudoku puzzles

Book tag

1. Favorite childhood book? Harry Potter series, Narnia series, and when I was really small Berenstein Bears, Enid Blyton,.........
2. What are you reading right now? Five people you meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom and Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
3. Bad book habit? I read in odd positions and never pay attention to the amount of light I'm getting
4. Do you have an e-reader? – Nope, nothing beats paper but ipad sounds really appealing you can carry loads of books in a small space
5. Do you prefer to read one book at a time or several at once? One book at a time, I'll get confused if I read too many books
6. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog? Yes I've started reading online more
7. Least favorite book you read this year (so far)? Romance by Joyce Carol Oates
8. Favorite book you’ve read this year? Eat Pray Love so far and Life of Pi
9. How often do you read out of your comfort zone? I don't have a particular comfort zone but usually I don't read non fiction
10. What is your reading comfort zone? Contemporary English fiction, stories about life, not one for thrillers
11. Can you read on the bus? Of course
12. Favorite place to read? In the train
13. What is your policy on book lending? RETURN MY BOOKS ASAP
14. Do you ever dog-ear books? All the time, to bookmark or to select my favourite passage
15. Do you ever write in the margins of your books? No
16. Not even with text books? I don't read text books
17. What is your favorite language to read in? English, and very rarely French
18. What makes you love a book? if it makes me get hooked, humour, how much I found the book honest, if it talks about life
19. What will inspire you to recommend a book? How much I laughed, or how true I found it to be
20. Favorite genre? Anything except romans policiers
21. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?) Jeffrey Archer type books
22. Favorite biography? Dreams Of My Father by barck Obama wasn't too bad
23. Have you ever read a self-help book? Yeah I've been gifted self help books, my friends thought my life was too much of a mess
24. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)? Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
25. Favorite reading snack? Anthing as long as I don't get stomach aches later
26. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience The Kiterunner, good book but really so many people told me to read it that i got pissed off
27. How often do you agree with critics about a book? Critics give a very detailed and almost scientific analysis of the book, whereas when I like a book I'll tell you in 5 lines if the book is good, bad, average
28. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews? Mostly if a book is bad I can't finish it so I usually don't give bad reviews, why waste time giving bad reviews when you can share the good books you've read. bad books are usually forgotten anyway
29. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose? Spanish and Hindi ( I can barely spell my name in hindi)
30. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read? My text books
31. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin? A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth, Crime and Punishment
32. Favorite Poet? none but I've read a few poems of Paul Eluard that were nice
33. Favorite fictional character? a Tough one, I'd say Anne of Green Gables
34. Favorite fictional villain? Severus Snape
35. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation? Funny books
36. The longest I’ve gone without reading – 2 years
37. Name a book that you could/would not finish- Sacred games by Vikram Chandra
38. What distracts you easily when you’re reading? My family or I fall asleep
39. Favorite film adaptation of a novel? The Namesake
40. Most disappointing film adaptation? All Harry Potter!!!!! Total BAKWASSSSS
41. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time? 72 euros
42. How often do you skim a book before reading it? Before I chose a book I read the summary at the back side and go through the first paragraph to see if I'll want to read the next one
43. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?if it sounds fake or if it's not an engaging story
44. Do you like to keep your books organized? Yes
45. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them? If I had a house I would keep them but since I lead a nomadic life I give them away once I've read them
46. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding? Books by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
47. Name a book that made you angry The KiteRunner by khaled Hosseini, I wanted to stop everything and rush to Afghanistan to adopt a child
48. A book you didn’t expect to like but did? How to Kill your Husband by Kathy Lette, Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
49. A book that you expected to like but didn’t? sooo many, one that comes to mind is Midnight's children
50. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading? Asterix and obelix, Archies

Faith

I reconsider my foolish position, ohh but I need some time from that emotion...........If I could touch your body, but I gotta think twice before I give my heart away. but I guess it would be nice if I could touch your body. I know all the games you play coz I play them too, I need some time from that emotion. Time to pick up my heart from the floor. Well it takes a strong person but I'm showing you the door. Maybe you mean every word you say , can't help but think of yesterday. Before you throw my heart back on the floor, I'll reconsider this foolish notion. Well I need to someone to hold me but I'll wait for something more . I gotta have Faaaaa-aaaaaaa-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt-hhhhhhhhhhhhh

What I sing in the bathroom, ti hi hi hi hi

Gossip Girl

Chuck sleeps with Blair who is going out with Nate who cheated on her with Serena. Serena is going out with Dan who later on becomes her step-brother, Dan's sister Jenny loses her virginity to Chuck who is secretly in love with Blair. Whew

Not to mention how they sleep left right centre with Tom, Dick or Harry

and yet I watch all of the episodes, it's a bit how you can be addicted to Saas-Bahu

xoxo

Blah (plz read all the blah they are written in a musical order)

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah

blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah

blah blah blah blah

blahhhhhhhh blaahhhh blaaahh

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

When people talk to me this is what I hear: gibberish.....and then when my eyes glaze over they say that I'm being rude, really! I'm not yawning am I? Be happy

Needy people!!!!!

Indians are seemingly all affected by what I call the fundaisms or advice-itis, which is giving unsolicited advice to people who have better thing to do that hearing someone trying to inflate their ego by telling people how to live their lives!!!!!!!

Richies

I don't think I can really get along with the insanely rich, the billionaire type of people, they seem to lead an alternate kind of existence, they are some where in a parallel universe where their worries are about which destination to go for holiday in or play mind games , at least the impression I get by seeing Gossip Girl!!!! HAHHAHA and you thought I was being serious, well barring a few people I don't really know the stinking rich people so I can't really say how they are, but they must be human.

Name Tag

Rules:
TAG 10 PEOPLE INCLUDING THE ONE THAT SENT THIS TO YOU.* USE THE 1ST LETTER OF YOUR NAME TO ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS.* THEY HAVE TO BE REAL PLACES, NAMES,THINGS. NOTHING MADE UP!* TRY TO USE DIFFERENT ANSWERS IF THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU HAD THE SAME 1ST INITIAL.* YOU CAN’T USE YOUR NAME FOR THE BOY/GIRL NAME QUESTION.

1. What is your name: Shubhra
2. A 4 Letter word: Sand
3. A Boys Name: Samuel
4. A Girls Name: Samantha
5. An Occupation: Snake catcher
6. A Color: sapphire blue
7. Something you wear: Stole
8. A Beverage: Sex on the beach (it's a cocktail)
9. A Food: Strudel
10. Something found in the bathroom: Soap
11. A place: Saint Tropez
12. A Reason for being late: Sorry I missed the train
13. Something you shout: Shit!

I tag anyone who reads this blog, bless you if you actually do

Google se baachke kahan jaoge

I'm a huge fan of Google God, but when I log in to Gmail, I'm simultaneously logged in Orkut, G-talk, Blogger, Google reader, Picasa,Google groups, Wave, Google sites, Google music and Youtube. Now if I was tech savvy and wanted just one portal to control all my other accounts, it would be great, but for example I decide to start an anonymous blog I don't want all my info to be available so easily. Same goes for my multiple Youtube accounts. I would like the option of having them kept separate. I find it quite pervasive. Say Google was to stop for a day today, I'll bet anything the entire world would lose huge amounts of data, money and be greatly traumatized and quickly start seeking therapy. We are so dependent on Google that we don't even realize we thrive on it. How on earth would people search without our Google....any question you have just ask GG (Google God), now if my using the word God with Google is any indication I loove Google, I mean for all the free things I get from it and how simple everything is, I am ready to sing love ballads for it, But on the down side it does make my slightly wary of it's complete hold on me and my entire community. A hacker would just need to get in my Gmail and have access to EVERYTHING about me, study my online behavior, know my family(through chat history and Picasa and Orkut), know all the things I don't want people to know. And why just a hacker, anybody who steals my password. Scary . Not to mention I hate being the person who can't answer a question because I couldn't find the answer on Google,like googling is a substitute for using your brain. And the fact that Google is a noun, adjective and a verb, how did that happen
On the other hand what would life be without Google. I can only laugh senselessly when someone tells me they still Yahoo as a search engine. What? Yahoo still exists, I used it on my first days of internet, but isn't it passé? Apparently not, from what my parents tell me, they are still yahoo users...Ugh
Pervasive, ubiquitous and yet not possible to live without it. I guess it's a bit how you can hate people you love the most. I mean how can I profess to hate the one most intimate and personal relationship in my life, me and my Google.
I still love you Google

Birthday wishes

It's Overthinker's birthday today, who also happens to be my big brother, and big in every way.
Just as I was thinking to write a post on him, and completely sure he will love it and possibly get emotional....and then it struck me why I was so sure he would love it: I've already done it, in 2009, I wrote a long post for his Happy birthday which he said he liked and made me feel very loved too....now it sounds lame to do it every year, so I'm writing this because I couldn't get him on the phone:
Happy Birthday Bhai
May you have many gifts
May you have many Girlfriends
Happy Birthday to youuuuu

Sins against Gender stereotypes

This is a tag going around a while ago, so I decided to pick it, here are the rules :

Have you ever wanted something that is considered ‘manly’ ? Like a basketball, a cell phone, a dog, a camera or a new laptop? A new car or motor bike? Ever wanted to be a pilot? A doctor or not a nurse? And the manliest want of them all – The remote! ;)

As a kid did you enjoy playing with a bat and a ball?

There was a time when books were considered ‘manly’, women authors had to pretend to be men – would you say books are still rather manly – women should want to embroider and crochet?

Go ahead pick it up, it's funny

1. I had a boy-cut( short spiky hair) till I was 14-15, I was constantly confused for a boy, people have stopped me from going into the girls bathroom saying that "for men it's the other way".

2. As a child I mostly played with guns and cars.

3. I'm the muscles in the family , I open bottles, carry heavy bags, change the bulb (there are only girls in the family, no sons)

4. I like looking at pretty girls.

5. I find shopping and fashion really boring.

6. I am very comfortable being alone, I don't need protection, I've eaten at restaurant, traveled, gone to the cinemas and seen expos by myself. It's peaceful to be by yourself sometimes

7. I plan to never get married, I'm all for live-ins, slightly commitment-phobic

8. I do not like to be told what to do, with my money or with my time…I do as I please!

9. I appreciate people who speak their mind, frank, and don't care too much about hurting perceptions. Keeping up appearances is in other words being a hypocrite. If someone doesn't like me then goodness gracious me , I don't care, it's their problem

10. I'm hairier than most guys

I tag all my followers, all you 3 people :)

Blogging

My didi discovered the blog world way waaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy back , long before it became popular. It was just in the end of the dark ages, when Google was just gaining momentum, when not all computers had CDs capacity, beginning 2000s. When I first heard of it, I thought it was a silly concept and didn't really understand it, but now I understand the bravery it requires, to bare yourself to the world, the fight to make your word interesting and hoping for some reaction.
One thing our generation cannot complain about is lack of expression, what with Facebook, Twitter and Blogs, it seems uncanny how many friends we have on these social networking sites and yet to have lesser and lesser communication and social skills. The more we are connected to the internet world and therefore millions of people, the less you see kids playing outside, friends casually dropping by, the less we actually meet people.
It's a funny world, I have more than 300 friends on Facebook, and not one to call when I'm feeling low, funny world indeed. I hope my blogger friends will become genuine friends.
Right now I'm trying out all the gadgets, background, it's quite fun actually.
It's cool
Peace out

First Post

Hello Folks,
Welcome to my blog, I love reading and I'm now experimenting with writing
I hope you like my blog and comment regularly

I'm an average 2O something girl, I drink, I smoke, I take drugs and sleep around.
Reality is I drink Coca Cola, I smoke what my kind friends throw out from their mouth, I take aspirin and as for sleeping around I sleep on my bed, on the sofa, at my friends place.
See I'm an average 20 something, it all depends where you stand.

Enjoy reading

Teenage years

Teenage years, one of the supposedly traumatic years, where you rebel against pretty much anything, and mostly for no other reason than to rebel. Or so they say. My memories of my teenage years are very tame, I didn't party too much but there wasn't much opportunity for it either. I wasn't rude to my parents, I didn't hate them, I told my mother practically everything, from the guys I liked to who I had a fight with. I went to class, I studied. I had dreams and was content with my life at home. Now for the other part: I had huge self esttem issues. I used to think I'm super duper ugly, fat and hairy. Of course now when I look at my pictures from that time I realise how completely foolish I was. It just makes me realise that all the crap you see and hear about phases of life you are supposed to have. Or how each phase of life should be lived is complete and utter crap. How people having read some article tell you how to live your life. It's incredible indeed since noone fits the norm, noone fits the perfect model. How do you really define normal? is it agreeing with everything your parents tell you,or is it thinking completely by yourself and making your own choices. You ask anyone and they have their own opinion on what a rational person is. The fact is there is no rational person, so next time anyone expresses disapproves of you, judges you, there is no need to take it as little sharp edged arrows placed in your chest that you have to painfully pluck out