Wisdom from a lost soul

My "wise" thoughts:

Sometimes you just don't like someone. I will share an example: with H. it was mostly that I smelt the superficiality and artifice around him. It reeked a mile away. That was the main reason I couldn't stand him. I like to spend my time with people who are authentic. Bloody waste of my time to talk to people who make me feel that I need to be on my guard all the time. Something so phony about him that I was always scared around him, that he would in some way stab me in the back. Lo and behold I was right. Turns out he bad mouthed me. When I found out I was outraged, then relieved, that finally his true face was out. Relief that I didn't have a sword dangling on top of me,worrying what he might do, because he did it. He finally did it. He showed how I was right about him all along, that I knew the extent of his sliminess. But in the end I have to say thank you, because I am not afraid anymore.

 I have always wanted to be popular and universally well-liked, because in school I was the most invisible girl in the world, and I longed for attention from my peers. Going to Paris and actually much before that, when I was 18 I realised that being popular is nice but being yourself is way way cooler. Trying to be cool for the heck of it is just a vain vapid useless attempt. Being yourself brings a satisfaction and peace that no amount of public glory can give. I don't care if someone thinks I'm cool. I care if I think I'm cool. I live up to my own expectations. So this is for my children, and all the children I have looked after: don't strive to be popular, strive to be yourself, settle for being yourself. When you settle for yourself, you will never settle for anyone who is not themselves.
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And here are other pearls of wisdom from a mom to her kids:

 1-Never feel guilty for moving away from me, for traveling or going on an adventure. I want you to leave me, to travel far away and only send a post card once in a while. I didn’t birth you to burden you. I birthed you to release you. My love is here whether you are two feet from me, or 20,000 miles away, go be you.

2. Check in with yourself when you leave someone’s presence. Ask yourself, Do I feel uplifted and happy? Or, do I feel depleted and lethargic? If you feel uplifted, the person you were just with is a supporter, keep them around. If you feel depleted, the person you were with is an enemy to your heart, don’t associate with them and make no apologies.

3. Clean your room. How you keep your space, is how you keep your mind. When things are neat, clarity will walk with ease.

4.There's nothing people find more attractive than kindness and sensitivity , rather than mouthy and domineering types

5-Get out of your comfort zone, even if that's extremely uncomfortable. Boats are always safe in the harbor. But that's not what boats are built for." So sail away, even if the waters are choppy and the territory uncharted...you'll be amazed at what you learn about the world and about yourself...and through it all, cherish the handful of people you can always depend on to throw you a life preserver when you need it the most.

6-.If you only remember one thing, remember this: You are the most important person in the whole world. You determine your own direction, and if you trust your own compass, you will always remain on your path. 

Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Update on my life

I haven't blogged in so long that blogger had time to change and it's disconcerting to find how white everything is and how I have to search for small things but still the upgrade is very welcome.


Have you ever noticed how we all promote middle class values and take pride in it. Of course by we I mean everybody who is middle class and the biggest brand ambassador of it Miss Ekta Kapoor and all her dreadful shows. How we have our accomplishments based on merit and yada yada. It's all great because I am from a middle class family and never did I feel even for a second I am inferior to the elite (not that I met any) nor did I feel I have to own brands to belong. But one of my friends told me I'm posing as a middle classer, showing fake modesty she told me I'm from the High-society minus the money. I don't know what to say, what is that supposed to mean? How can you be rich without money?!! Sometimes people say the most stupidest things and you're left thinking about it until it hits you: they're nuts.


I got a blackberry torch a while back, and now I'm busy downloading all the coolest apps:

Like Shazam: to recognize the song playing in a pub or a movie, I've wanted this for the longest timeEvernote: can help you keep notes, very cool because you can search images and do loads, 'm still discovering it
Indian Recipes: just in case I discover a hitherto unknown desire to cook
Guidepal Paris,
Whatsapp messenger: you can send free smses between using your number between people who own this app
Deezer: for music duh
And the mother of all applications meant only for girls so guys skip the next few lines: it's called Period Deluxe Calendar( IP free is also good) it allows to keep track of menstrual cycle, you can save the symptoms according to day, and it will tell you when you are due, how many days are left, on which day are you, how long do you last, and best of all it has a password to open it, so if your phone lands in children hands they can't access it


Other than that I've made new friends and I'm really sad I met them only now before leaving...but still it's fun


My mom and all my rishtedar are after my sister to get married, it was entertaining to poke fun at her in the beginning years but now it's such a boring topic. After all if a girl is not married she is not happy or settled and is a "burden" on her parents. If you ask me the girl is very happy before marriage and goes in for hell later. My own personal views, you don't have to agree. Now my mother is saying now it's my turn, that she'll get me married, so that my sister in a fit of jealousy will get married too. Wow. Just amazing. Getting people married so that they live unhappily ever after is the obsession of every aunty I know. I think it's a bit sad that if my sis doesn't want to get slaughtered I should become the next bakra. But if you're a Desi girl you have to go through this.


Other than that I'm searching ways to get fit. I tried looking into the Kareena Kapoor diet, but I think I'll have to buy the book which I'm really not keen on doing. I may be over-weight or a voluptuous babe but that is no reason for people to give me unhelpful tips on how to lose weight. Waise bhi I cannot tolerate unsolicited advice. Advice, fundas, gyan that come at the drop of a hat. EXCUSE ME!!! BUT IS IT WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD THAT I WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR RUBBISH?!!!!!!


That's all for now folks,Peace Out

Nice Song

Vampire Mania

Is it just me or is being a vampire the new fad. Vampires, Werwolves everywhere. First it was the twilight craze, now it's Vampire diaries. Whewwwwww now people actually want to be bloodsucking vampires, and notice how they are unbelievably good looking too. I want one of them too now!!!!
Of course now they are depicted with a conscience (Angel),as a vegetarian (twilight) and very much in love (the vampire diaries). It's the eternal love story, doomed from the start, good versus evil, dark versus light, human versus vampire. It seems to work predominantly for girls in their tweens, teens and a few adults.

DSK

Does anyone remember the Tiger Woods scandal, how when one affair was revealed it led to a deluge of one-night stands coming to light. Now it seems the same is happening to Dominique Strauss Kahn, one case just got done (although they are appealing), and now there is Tristane Banon accusing him of attempt to rape in 2003. At first it seemed she was milking this opportunity for publically bashing DSK, but now she has come with tangible proof and not just her own words. People were doubting her word because she is accusing him now 8 years later. Now to top that, his previous affairs are coming to light, all when he was married, first an employee at the World Bank, and now a jurist who said she had a year long affair with him. Another blow on his already hugely tarnished image. Now I can't help wondering if all these accusations are real. Cheating, multiple affairs, manipulative, asshole he defintely is but rape is another thing, you really have to be depraved to sink to that level. I can't help feel bad for someone who represented a lot of hope for people who were against right and extreme right gaining power in France. The only person happy with this development, indeed possibly throwing parties would be Sarkozy and the UMP, he was about the only strong person in a imploded PS party. He was highly respected, spoke with clarity about dense economic problems. His interviews show how charming he was, he could charm viewers through a screen, so in person it was lethal. People would be chanting his name for the presidential elections for 2012, now of course they spit on his name. Over active libido ruined his career , his image. I can't comment if he actually raped the girl, because initially I didn't believe it at all, so high was his integrity considered, but now I am less and less sure at his morals. Somebody who did so much for development could be a closet scum bag is hard to digest, could the opposition party be behind it. I don't know and most likely not. More comes to light and we will be able to know beyond a shadow of a doubt what exactly he is capable of.

Watching Indian classics

*Sholay: I finally bought this movie, have been meaning to watch this movie for ages. It's funny how I knew every dialogue, every character, every song, every scene and yet not all of them in one flow. An Indian western which truly has everything: music, romance, drama, comedy. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Recommended to anybody who hasn't watched this movie(if that is possible).


* Dilwale Dulhaniya le Jayenge: NRI love story, touches the heart more and I love SRK-Kajol. First part is the best, the second half is quite traditional (which completely fits with the NRI part coz usually NRI's tend to either over westernized or super traditional-my example being the Kenyan Indians).
In the latter part of the story SRK is very irritating and the saving grace is the music.


* Bobby: Another iconic movie, mostly because Dimple Kapadia is very sexy and wears revealing clothes. Whatever, it's still a sweet movie, it didn't seem so shocking to me but 70's time was more conservative.


* Deewar: Finally watched this iconic movie, and there was no overacting and over the top drama. I finally understood the mandir jokes: when Amitabh Bachchan asks god to spare his mother's life "maine aaj tak tujhse nahin manga" or when he comes to die at the mandir holding the bells "maa, mein aa gaya". Other then that, it's a typical seventies movie, the story starts with the protagonists as children, and then tragedy strikes, they are victims of injustice at the hands of a cruel rich man(notice how in the 70's all the cruel people are also very rich). Cut to 20 years later the children grow into Amitabh Bachchan and Shashi Kapoor who ultimately face each other as one is a cop and the other a crook. The whole film has a lot of symbolic scenes and poetic dialogues. A very moralistic tale, how good triumphs over evil.


* Amar Akbar Anthony: A bit long and nonsensical. Seems like it was made for national integration. Unbelievable miracles happen like the mother Nirupa Roy loses her eye sight because of an accident, yet she doesn't go to the doctor but accepts that she'll be blind for the next 22 years. Then miraculously she goes to Shirdi Wale Sai Baba's temple falls on his feet and -wait for it- her eyesight comes back. Amazing! Yet at these medical miracles no one is astounded but accepts it as God's will. I think the only reason I somewhat liked the movie because I knew all the songs and have seen it in bits and pieces over the years. And I can never really hate a Bollywood movie no matter how bad.


* Kabhi kabhie: Very good movie, the poetry is beautiful, but not as much as Udaan's although the music is better. I won't relate the story as it's highly probable everyone has seen it. One of the parts I liked the best was when Amitabh Bachchan playing a rejected lover wallows in his misery for close to 20 years, yes that's right 20 years, he obviously wnat to draw inspiration from his self-inflicted pain but claims to have left poetry, not to mention his disdain and hypocrisy toward his wife (she had an illegitimate daughter before her marriage) shows just how human he is, and not a hero that fights the system. The best part being that he understands the importance of making peace with his past and finally leaving his past behind, and of course accepting his wife for what she is. It's quite a complicated tale told very fluidly.

There is a huge difference between a mother and an elder sibling, it might seem like the elder sibling (brother or sis) is a parent figure, someone who cares for you in every circumstance, and they might feel the same way but don't kid yourself. The love, generosity, benvolence your parents will have for you noone else possibly can. There is no replacement for that, so every time an elder sibling tries to dominate you and pass it off as love be sure to snap and fight it. Many siblings don't want the other to do better or are just used to interfering/ controlling their life. When you are in a postion of force why would you let it go. So be confident, don't take their criticism to heart and live your own life.

Phenomenal Woman-Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Blogging

One of the important things to remember while blogging is that you are here because you want to be, so remember this has to stay pleasurable, don't try too hard, just put down your thoughts or something that interests you. Be sure you like reading and writing, blogs are mainly a reading and writing medium. Although most bloggers tend to be avid readers. The blogging world is quite large and growing everyday so you have to try and stay regular so that people who visit again have the chance to read a new post, if you post something once a month, you readership will definitely dwindle down to nothing and you will be faced with the demotivated sign of having the zero number on your comments tab. Blogs don't get overnight success,it takes time. Blogs require regular attention, daily posts might not be possible but aim at one post every two or three day. Staying motivated to write can be tough, you can join communities like Nablopomo, it brings in discipline. Blogging is not homework it's a hobby but if you want to reap the benefits(and there are many) of blogging you will have to invest in your time. If you are too busy with work or studies you can schedule posts, but bear in mind that blogging also entails moderating comments, replying to comments, building a network by reading posts and commenting on them. Blogging is not as easy as it looks from the outside.
Another important thing is to always reply to comments and be careful with the responses (rudeness does not help), it's blogging courtesy, and to create interest in your own blog, go on blogs that you like and leave comments, they will probably come back to your blog and comment which can build online friendships. Many people treat their blogs as personal diaries so be gentle with your comments. Blogging is an act in which you put yourself in the public eye up for criticism and people will talk about you, it doesn't stay anonymous for too long. What you post online is not always deleted after you've pressed the delete button, there are services that find your writing even when the blog is deleted.


There are some posts that tend to do well: Personal posts(this always touches the heart), Case study of a current issue (for example eve teasing in delhi, it's bound to bring attention) and making lists (it's easy to read through), of course there are many others but here I'm giving examples.
The biggest ego buster is that sometimes bloggers feel they can write anything on their blog and people will read them! Ha! NO way will they read anything until they are enticed into it or find it interesting, also plz check what you are writing, you cannot right nonsense, internet makes information easier so people will check you facts. Before publishing try proofreading your posts(checking through the facts,typos, grammatical mistakes)

I hope this post will provide some useful tips to bloggers

Keep writing