Sunday, June 26, 2011


One of the important things to remember while blogging is that you are here because you want to be, so remember this has to stay pleasurable, don't try too hard, just put down your thoughts or something that interests you. Be sure you like reading and writing, blogs are mainly a reading and writing medium. Although most bloggers tend to be avid readers. The blogging world is quite large and growing everyday so you have to try and stay regular so that people who visit again have the chance to read a new post, if you post something once a month, you readership will definitely dwindle down to nothing and you will be faced with the demotivated sign of having the zero number on your comments tab. Blogs don't get overnight success,it takes time. Blogs require regular attention, daily posts might not be possible but aim at one post every two or three day. Staying motivated to write can be tough, you can join communities like Nablopomo, it brings in discipline. Blogging is not homework it's a hobby but if you want to reap the benefits(and there are many) of blogging you will have to invest in your time. If you are too busy with work or studies you can schedule posts, but bear in mind that blogging also entails moderating comments, replying to comments, building a network by reading posts and commenting on them. Blogging is not as easy as it looks from the outside.
Another important thing is to always reply to comments and be careful with the responses (rudeness does not help), it's blogging courtesy, and to create interest in your own blog, go on blogs that you like and leave comments, they will probably come back to your blog and comment which can build online friendships. Many people treat their blogs as personal diaries so be gentle with your comments. Blogging is an act in which you put yourself in the public eye up for criticism and people will talk about you, it doesn't stay anonymous for too long. What you post online is not always deleted after you've pressed the delete button, there are services that find your writing even when the blog is deleted.

There are some posts that tend to do well: Personal posts(this always touches the heart), Case study of a current issue (for example eve teasing in delhi, it's bound to bring attention) and making lists (it's easy to read through), of course there are many others but here I'm giving examples.
The biggest ego buster is that sometimes bloggers feel they can write anything on their blog and people will read them! Ha! NO way will they read anything until they are enticed into it or find it interesting, also plz check what you are writing, you cannot right nonsense, internet makes information easier so people will check you facts. Before publishing try proofreading your posts(checking through the facts,typos, grammatical mistakes)

I hope this post will provide some useful tips to bloggers

Keep writing

Thursday, June 9, 2011

On having siblings

This post is inspired by madmomma and thebride.
Having siblings is something you don't particularly think about unless you yourself are starting a family. But if I have kids I would give my children the gift of sibling companionship. Having a brother or a sister is something special, they are your companions in a way no one else can really understand, they understand private family jokes, they understand your thought process, they will be there when most people will run away. In many ways they are a gift. But no relationship is set in stone, no relationship comes with guarantees. When you grow there is a certain level of respect and space you have to give each other. Something I think sorely lacks in desi family setups, often the older used to being bossy stays dominating their whole life. A pity because you only get to experience the relationship in one sense: of domination which after the years holds no place. Eventually we all grow and gain experiences that make us just as deserving of equality. We pride ourselves on giving respect to our elders and forget that younger ones are just as deserving of that respect. It's easy to view someone from just one shade of coloured lenses, to remember that in school they were naughty and the older one was the one responsible. So 5 years or 25 years down the line they will bring out the same argument, they refuse to accept that people change. Everyday of your life is a new day, each day you live differently, each day you grow. People change, things change, three years down the line I will be someone quite different yet people still see me as what I was aeons ago. It's easy to say don't care what people say, but when it's people you love who say such stuff it's hurtful and extremely annoying not to mention frustrating. It's like you are expected to prove yourself all the time and when as humans you make a mistake they will remember the mistake and take it out to remind you why you shouldn't make your life decisions or think for yourself. It's almost like somewhere they relish your mistakes and failures and keep a diary of everything you have done wrong.

Anyway I digress, back to my own sibling story. We are two sisters in the family: me and Di. DI is 5 years older than me, which is quite an age gap when you are growing up. Maa tells me I idolised my sister as a child, I wanted to wear everything she wore, eat what she ate, have the same blanket, have the same pen, and followed her everywhere. For the longest time I looked up to her for nearly everything. She also took a lot of care of me, she would change my diapers, take care of me at parties, but when she entered her teens and I became the bratty younger sis, we sort of saw each other as a nuisance. Didn't talk to much unless it was to steal her erasers or some pen, or even fight for papa's attention. The usual sibling experience if you ask me: constant bickering and making up minutes later. Di was a strong presence in my childhood. But when I was 12 she left home for college and I started seeing her on holidays once or twice year. And sadly at that period papa also left the house to setup a new business in another country, so he also was rarely at home. Me and Maa were the only two at home, and I became incredibly close to her, I spent an enormous amount of time with her, I would share all my secrets with her. Nearly everything including boys and who I had a fight with, and that's when I discovered how wise my mom is: her advice is always right, I always regretted not listening to her, she always gave the best advice. She knew all my friends, they all knew her, she gave me a lot of space to grow while maintaining a very keen eye on me without my ever finding out. BY the time I reached high-school she had become my most trusted confidante and a good friend, almost like a sister. She always had the courage to see me in a different light and to push me to grow.

When finally it was my time to leave the nest for college, I was slightly apprehensive living with my sister. She is a difficult person, headstrong, stubborn if you will, messy and overly maternal when it comes to me. It's not a happy feeling having two mothers on your back. And when I did start to live with her, many of my fears did come true like how she used to talk about me like I'm still 12 and took me for granted. But in many ways I did rediscover my sister, it's strange that you could be a little cold with your own sister but it did happen, we were a little formal. It took perhaps one month for that civility to pass. Fairly quickly we were close again and I was surprised to discover how motherly I had become of her, I file her papers, post important letter because she gets worried about them. A constant fun companion who laugh at each others jokes even when no one else finds them funny. In my memory we were not compared often(we were usually confused as being close friends) and how would they because we are diametrically opposite people. I'm bit of an extrovert, she's an introvert, we look very different, we have contrary views about the lives we wish to live, about futures, the way we think, talk and behave. I am impulsive and often blurt anything that is on my mind. She thinks a lot and is extremely cautious. I'm organized, she's messy. Poles apart.
Even if at home we constantly fight it would take about half a second for us to unite if a third party attacks one of us, we are fiercely protective about each other. I'm the first one to point out my sister's flaws, but if anyone even mentions them I can practically feel my blood boil in rage and fumes of anger coming out of me. Because this is what it means to have a sibling, having a family always by your side even after your parents have passed away, someone who will be by your side through thick and thin, someone you love so dearly that you would take a bullet in your heart for them. And paradoxically wish to wring their neck about ten times a day.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

45 lessons

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written.”

1.Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. (the best advice)
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. (essential yet so difficult)
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. (the reason why jealousy serves no purpose)
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. (very true)
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you no one else.
20. When it to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion, today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time. (not always, some feuds last for generations)

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. (thank god for it)
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is waste of time. You already have all you need. (important lesson)
42. The best is yet to come
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.


People in depression are very demanding and selfish people, ask anybody who deals with them on a daily basis.

Anyway the point of the post is the suicides about people who are in depression.

There are a whole lot of reasons for people for going into depression: loss of a loved one, loss of self confidence, repeated failure, childhood trauma that resurfaces, an accident........ These can trigger an onset of emotions that are so powerful that you can turn into the sad old jane who has a rainy cloud above her head, permanently gloomy, and so much pain, the pain is unbearable as it is constant. And when I say constant I mean in your sleep, in your dreams, when you close your eyes, when you are reading, when you are watching a movie, when you are talking to someone, the cloud of gloominess is right there threatening to shower you in your own tears. The tears pour out of you like a leaky faucet that no one can fix. Time heals everything. So you wait for time to come and heal you, you let days pass, then months, before you know it it's been years and you realize why clichés are called clichés because it doesn't apply for everything and everyone. As you're waiting on the sidewalk hopeful that time will eventually help you ,you realize that time helped others but just not you.

So many years of pain is more torture than if somebody cut of a limb, you think hey why not end this life because it would mean the end of pain, you love life but the release of pain is something you want more than living this life so you go ahead and search ways to end it, at last I will be free you think but as opportunities come and go you don't do it.

Even a miserable life is worth it

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


Every generation is given a tag that describes the general behavior of those people born in a certain time frame, like say babies born post second world war are Baby Boomers? After that there was Generation X, then Generation Y and now Millennials. The need to categorize every few decades is for sociological research that helps in marketing and managing the new work force. Basically for business needs.

Recently I came across this article describing the people born between 1980 and 1995, which is basically me. I'm a millennial. Some the points described are accurate so here I'm sharing with you:

-Millennials are tech savvy, with lots of gadgets at their disposal

-They multitask, many windows open at the time, listening to music while writing offical letter and in between checking facebook and tweeting from time to time. A coffee break and they'll be texting while gossiping. Whether they multitask effectively or not, they will multitask

-Millennials are hard working, enormously clever and resourceful with tools to get things done

-Sometimes called the trophy generation, they are used to winning, getting what they want, they tend to be fiercely competitive

-In the corporate culture they assertively seek more feedback, responsibility and involvement in decision making

-Millennials have an interest in volounteerism, and interest in the world around them

-This group is more educated, have less ethnic, gender or geographic boundaries, They celebrate diversity

-They seek leadership, and even structure, from their older and managerial coworkers, but expect that you will draw out and respect their ideas.

-Millennials seek a challenge and do not want to experience boredom. Used to balancing many activities such as teams, friends, and philanthropic activities, millennials want flexibility in scheduling and a life away from work.