Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Too Indian?

Sometimes I turn to this blog to vent my feelings when people around me are not interested, have heard it too many times, or I'm being too polite to express these feelings. But regular blogging has its advantages, first to try to build a sustainable readership is hard so if you have one, be proud my friend. Second writing as much as reading hones your mind, and comments only make you push yourself. So in this process of self-improvement I am trying to write something today, bare with me, it will not be beautiful or make sense, might just be plain boring:

What does it mean to be Indian? Is there something as too Indian? Well there is because I have evidently fallen into the too Indian category, I don't know how exactly it happened or started. Could be that last year in the sept/oct navrathras, I kept one day of fast. Well honestly my whole life, I never quite grasped what navrathras where, what you could do and what you couldn't do, what food you could eat if you were fasting or not. Very confusing for me, so last year, it was the first navrathras I ever attended in India as many people at my work place were keeping them so I joined the bandwagon, to feel I could belong to this exclusive fast-keeping group in which people would not eat my food and would bring special chips for me. It was part of my cultural assimilation project. Previously in this project I had decided to not wear revealing clothes to work (revealing to mindset of people at work not any other place I've been to), to always come to office waxed, threaded and in no way show that God almighty has graced me with hair, as I understand that it nothing short of a felony to go natural. Going further in this cultural assimilation I had decided I will try to speak hindi as much as I can. So far so good, but I guess my project fooled people into thinking I was totally integrated and assimilated. WRONG MY FRIENDS. Slowly time went by, and my coy and soft demeanor lead people to think that I cannot scream, I can scream so hard your ears will hurt.
Well the navrathras were a good learning but that does not mean I believe in it, because I don't, I have zero faith in it I would like to learn more about it, but as much as any religious festival. It seems incredible but this small act has led to people believing that I am too innocent, and gullible and that somehow it is the right time for me to get married. HOW on earth did they land on this topic, WHAT on earth was the logic. And here are the reasons to get married:

-All the good guys will get married and it will be too late for you- Maybe but I don't see any good guys around, and what is to say that marrying at a young age will ensure that I will get a good guy

-There is a certain age till you can have babies- You are not wrong but babies are not born because everyone should have babies, babies should be born because they are wanted and you have the maturity to give them a good life

-Your circle will widen- Thanks but I can do that on my own

-You won't have time to read books- Well thanks, you just gave me a reason not to get married

-Your priorities will change- Well my priority right now is to be healthy, If it changes then it's not a good thing for me

-You will learn more from life, you won't only think about yourself, you will have to manage different relationships-DUH, any change teaches you, doesn't mean the change is good. I already manage different personal and professional relations

-You need a companion- I know that, I am not saying I will never get married  what I am saying is:

                      IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME

P.S: My project assimilation is close to an end as "Getting blackmailed into getting married" was one of the few things that remained

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Living in India

It's been almost two years since I've shifted to India. There were a lot of challenges, some good some bad. Overall living in Delhi NCR makes you tough, it makes you aggressive, you learn to fight for yourself. It has also turned me into a typical Delhi girl with the usual complaints of I can't step out at night. And now as more time goes by I feel living in Delhi is really not such a wise move, it was good for the beginning, I had family, I understood the culture, I knew where to get things but now living in Delhi just pisses me off. If it were not for the cultural activities and history I would have hated it. Two years in Delhi and I've almost stopped feeling outraged at rape, it's called the mass effect, you hear or see something so many times that you come to accept it as normal. It's what happened in Nazi Germany. I can't say it enough Delhi is a disappointment. I don't know if other cities in India are like this, but it wouldn't hurt to try and find out.

I fear by Being Erica

I fear that you will learn the lessons of beauty and injustice
That the poetry your body can create will abandon you
The gifts of your own strengths and passion will be dulled before they are even born
I fear that you will cease to yearn for flight