I haven't blogged in so long that blogger had time to change and it's disconcerting to find how white everything is and how I have to search for small things but still the upgrade is very welcome.
Have you ever noticed how we all promote middle class values and take pride in it. Of course by we I mean everybody who is middle class and the biggest brand ambassador of it Miss Ekta Kapoor and all her dreadful shows. How we have our accomplishments based on merit and yada yada. It's all great because I am from a middle class family and never did I feel even for a second I am inferior to the elite (not that I met any) nor did I feel I have to own brands to belong. But one of my friends told me I'm posing as a middle classer, showing fake modesty she told me I'm from the High-society minus the money. I don't know what to say, what is that supposed to mean? How can you be rich without money?!! Sometimes people say the most stupidest things and you're left thinking about it until it hits you: they're nuts.
I got a blackberry torch a while back, and now I'm busy downloading all the coolest apps:
Like Shazam: to recognize the song playing in a pub or a movie, I've wanted this for the longest timeEvernote: can help you keep notes, very cool because you can search images and do loads, 'm still discovering it
Indian Recipes: just in case I discover a hitherto unknown desire to cook
Guidepal Paris,
Whatsapp messenger: you can send free smses between using your number between people who own this app
Deezer: for music duh
And the mother of all applications meant only for girls so guys skip the next few lines: it's called Period Deluxe Calendar( IP free is also good) it allows to keep track of menstrual cycle, you can save the symptoms according to day, and it will tell you when you are due, how many days are left, on which day are you, how long do you last, and best of all it has a password to open it, so if your phone lands in children hands they can't access it
Other than that I've made new friends and I'm really sad I met them only now before leaving...but still it's fun
My mom and all my rishtedar are after my sister to get married, it was entertaining to poke fun at her in the beginning years but now it's such a boring topic. After all if a girl is not married she is not happy or settled and is a "burden" on her parents. If you ask me the girl is very happy before marriage and goes in for hell later. My own personal views, you don't have to agree. Now my mother is saying now it's my turn, that she'll get me married, so that my sister in a fit of jealousy will get married too. Wow. Just amazing. Getting people married so that they live unhappily ever after is the obsession of every aunty I know. I think it's a bit sad that if my sis doesn't want to get slaughtered I should become the next bakra. But if you're a Desi girl you have to go through this.
Other than that I'm searching ways to get fit. I tried looking into the Kareena Kapoor diet, but I think I'll have to buy the book which I'm really not keen on doing. I may be over-weight or a voluptuous babe but that is no reason for people to give me unhelpful tips on how to lose weight. Waise bhi I cannot tolerate unsolicited advice. Advice, fundas, gyan that come at the drop of a hat. EXCUSE ME!!! BUT IS IT WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD THAT I WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR RUBBISH?!!!!!!
That's all for now folks,Peace Out
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
On having siblings
This post is inspired by madmomma and thebride.
Having siblings is something you don't particularly think about unless you yourself are starting a family. But if I have kids I would give my children the gift of sibling companionship. Having a brother or a sister is something special, they are your companions in a way no one else can really understand, they understand private family jokes, they understand your thought process, they will be there when most people will run away. In many ways they are a gift. But no relationship is set in stone, no relationship comes with guarantees. When you grow there is a certain level of respect and space you have to give each other. Something I think sorely lacks in desi family setups, often the older used to being bossy stays dominating their whole life. A pity because you only get to experience the relationship in one sense: of domination which after the years holds no place. Eventually we all grow and gain experiences that make us just as deserving of equality. We pride ourselves on giving respect to our elders and forget that younger ones are just as deserving of that respect. It's easy to view someone from just one shade of coloured lenses, to remember that in school they were naughty and the older one was the one responsible. So 5 years or 25 years down the line they will bring out the same argument, they refuse to accept that people change. Everyday of your life is a new day, each day you live differently, each day you grow. People change, things change, three years down the line I will be someone quite different yet people still see me as what I was aeons ago. It's easy to say don't care what people say, but when it's people you love who say such stuff it's hurtful and extremely annoying not to mention frustrating. It's like you are expected to prove yourself all the time and when as humans you make a mistake they will remember the mistake and take it out to remind you why you shouldn't make your life decisions or think for yourself. It's almost like somewhere they relish your mistakes and failures and keep a diary of everything you have done wrong.
Anyway I digress, back to my own sibling story. We are two sisters in the family: me and Di. DI is 5 years older than me, which is quite an age gap when you are growing up. Maa tells me I idolised my sister as a child, I wanted to wear everything she wore, eat what she ate, have the same blanket, have the same pen, and followed her everywhere. For the longest time I looked up to her for nearly everything. She also took a lot of care of me, she would change my diapers, take care of me at parties, but when she entered her teens and I became the bratty younger sis, we sort of saw each other as a nuisance. Didn't talk to much unless it was to steal her erasers or some pen, or even fight for papa's attention. The usual sibling experience if you ask me: constant bickering and making up minutes later. Di was a strong presence in my childhood. But when I was 12 she left home for college and I started seeing her on holidays once or twice year. And sadly at that period papa also left the house to setup a new business in another country, so he also was rarely at home. Me and Maa were the only two at home, and I became incredibly close to her, I spent an enormous amount of time with her, I would share all my secrets with her. Nearly everything including boys and who I had a fight with, and that's when I discovered how wise my mom is: her advice is always right, I always regretted not listening to her, she always gave the best advice. She knew all my friends, they all knew her, she gave me a lot of space to grow while maintaining a very keen eye on me without my ever finding out. BY the time I reached high-school she had become my most trusted confidante and a good friend, almost like a sister. She always had the courage to see me in a different light and to push me to grow.
When finally it was my time to leave the nest for college, I was slightly apprehensive living with my sister. She is a difficult person, headstrong, stubborn if you will, messy and overly maternal when it comes to me. It's not a happy feeling having two mothers on your back. And when I did start to live with her, many of my fears did come true like how she used to talk about me like I'm still 12 and took me for granted. But in many ways I did rediscover my sister, it's strange that you could be a little cold with your own sister but it did happen, we were a little formal. It took perhaps one month for that civility to pass. Fairly quickly we were close again and I was surprised to discover how motherly I had become of her, I file her papers, post important letter because she gets worried about them. A constant fun companion who laugh at each others jokes even when no one else finds them funny. In my memory we were not compared often(we were usually confused as being close friends) and how would they because we are diametrically opposite people. I'm bit of an extrovert, she's an introvert, we look very different, we have contrary views about the lives we wish to live, about futures, the way we think, talk and behave. I am impulsive and often blurt anything that is on my mind. She thinks a lot and is extremely cautious. I'm organized, she's messy. Poles apart.
Even if at home we constantly fight it would take about half a second for us to unite if a third party attacks one of us, we are fiercely protective about each other. I'm the first one to point out my sister's flaws, but if anyone even mentions them I can practically feel my blood boil in rage and fumes of anger coming out of me. Because this is what it means to have a sibling, having a family always by your side even after your parents have passed away, someone who will be by your side through thick and thin, someone you love so dearly that you would take a bullet in your heart for them. And paradoxically wish to wring their neck about ten times a day.
Having siblings is something you don't particularly think about unless you yourself are starting a family. But if I have kids I would give my children the gift of sibling companionship. Having a brother or a sister is something special, they are your companions in a way no one else can really understand, they understand private family jokes, they understand your thought process, they will be there when most people will run away. In many ways they are a gift. But no relationship is set in stone, no relationship comes with guarantees. When you grow there is a certain level of respect and space you have to give each other. Something I think sorely lacks in desi family setups, often the older used to being bossy stays dominating their whole life. A pity because you only get to experience the relationship in one sense: of domination which after the years holds no place. Eventually we all grow and gain experiences that make us just as deserving of equality. We pride ourselves on giving respect to our elders and forget that younger ones are just as deserving of that respect. It's easy to view someone from just one shade of coloured lenses, to remember that in school they were naughty and the older one was the one responsible. So 5 years or 25 years down the line they will bring out the same argument, they refuse to accept that people change. Everyday of your life is a new day, each day you live differently, each day you grow. People change, things change, three years down the line I will be someone quite different yet people still see me as what I was aeons ago. It's easy to say don't care what people say, but when it's people you love who say such stuff it's hurtful and extremely annoying not to mention frustrating. It's like you are expected to prove yourself all the time and when as humans you make a mistake they will remember the mistake and take it out to remind you why you shouldn't make your life decisions or think for yourself. It's almost like somewhere they relish your mistakes and failures and keep a diary of everything you have done wrong.
Anyway I digress, back to my own sibling story. We are two sisters in the family: me and Di. DI is 5 years older than me, which is quite an age gap when you are growing up. Maa tells me I idolised my sister as a child, I wanted to wear everything she wore, eat what she ate, have the same blanket, have the same pen, and followed her everywhere. For the longest time I looked up to her for nearly everything. She also took a lot of care of me, she would change my diapers, take care of me at parties, but when she entered her teens and I became the bratty younger sis, we sort of saw each other as a nuisance. Didn't talk to much unless it was to steal her erasers or some pen, or even fight for papa's attention. The usual sibling experience if you ask me: constant bickering and making up minutes later. Di was a strong presence in my childhood. But when I was 12 she left home for college and I started seeing her on holidays once or twice year. And sadly at that period papa also left the house to setup a new business in another country, so he also was rarely at home. Me and Maa were the only two at home, and I became incredibly close to her, I spent an enormous amount of time with her, I would share all my secrets with her. Nearly everything including boys and who I had a fight with, and that's when I discovered how wise my mom is: her advice is always right, I always regretted not listening to her, she always gave the best advice. She knew all my friends, they all knew her, she gave me a lot of space to grow while maintaining a very keen eye on me without my ever finding out. BY the time I reached high-school she had become my most trusted confidante and a good friend, almost like a sister. She always had the courage to see me in a different light and to push me to grow.
When finally it was my time to leave the nest for college, I was slightly apprehensive living with my sister. She is a difficult person, headstrong, stubborn if you will, messy and overly maternal when it comes to me. It's not a happy feeling having two mothers on your back. And when I did start to live with her, many of my fears did come true like how she used to talk about me like I'm still 12 and took me for granted. But in many ways I did rediscover my sister, it's strange that you could be a little cold with your own sister but it did happen, we were a little formal. It took perhaps one month for that civility to pass. Fairly quickly we were close again and I was surprised to discover how motherly I had become of her, I file her papers, post important letter because she gets worried about them. A constant fun companion who laugh at each others jokes even when no one else finds them funny. In my memory we were not compared often(we were usually confused as being close friends) and how would they because we are diametrically opposite people. I'm bit of an extrovert, she's an introvert, we look very different, we have contrary views about the lives we wish to live, about futures, the way we think, talk and behave. I am impulsive and often blurt anything that is on my mind. She thinks a lot and is extremely cautious. I'm organized, she's messy. Poles apart.
Even if at home we constantly fight it would take about half a second for us to unite if a third party attacks one of us, we are fiercely protective about each other. I'm the first one to point out my sister's flaws, but if anyone even mentions them I can practically feel my blood boil in rage and fumes of anger coming out of me. Because this is what it means to have a sibling, having a family always by your side even after your parents have passed away, someone who will be by your side through thick and thin, someone you love so dearly that you would take a bullet in your heart for them. And paradoxically wish to wring their neck about ten times a day.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Suicide
People in depression are very demanding and selfish people, ask anybody who deals with them on a daily basis.
Anyway the point of the post is the suicides about people who are in depression.
There are a whole lot of reasons for people for going into depression: loss of a loved one, loss of self confidence, repeated failure, childhood trauma that resurfaces, an accident........ These can trigger an onset of emotions that are so powerful that you can turn into the sad old jane who has a rainy cloud above her head, permanently gloomy, and so much pain, the pain is unbearable as it is constant. And when I say constant I mean in your sleep, in your dreams, when you close your eyes, when you are reading, when you are watching a movie, when you are talking to someone, the cloud of gloominess is right there threatening to shower you in your own tears. The tears pour out of you like a leaky faucet that no one can fix. Time heals everything. So you wait for time to come and heal you, you let days pass, then months, before you know it it's been years and you realize why clichés are called clichés because it doesn't apply for everything and everyone. As you're waiting on the sidewalk hopeful that time will eventually help you ,you realize that time helped others but just not you.
So many years of pain is more torture than if somebody cut of a limb, you think hey why not end this life because it would mean the end of pain, you love life but the release of pain is something you want more than living this life so you go ahead and search ways to end it, at last I will be free you think but as opportunities come and go you don't do it.
Even a miserable life is worth it
Anyway the point of the post is the suicides about people who are in depression.
There are a whole lot of reasons for people for going into depression: loss of a loved one, loss of self confidence, repeated failure, childhood trauma that resurfaces, an accident........ These can trigger an onset of emotions that are so powerful that you can turn into the sad old jane who has a rainy cloud above her head, permanently gloomy, and so much pain, the pain is unbearable as it is constant. And when I say constant I mean in your sleep, in your dreams, when you close your eyes, when you are reading, when you are watching a movie, when you are talking to someone, the cloud of gloominess is right there threatening to shower you in your own tears. The tears pour out of you like a leaky faucet that no one can fix. Time heals everything. So you wait for time to come and heal you, you let days pass, then months, before you know it it's been years and you realize why clichés are called clichés because it doesn't apply for everything and everyone. As you're waiting on the sidewalk hopeful that time will eventually help you ,you realize that time helped others but just not you.
So many years of pain is more torture than if somebody cut of a limb, you think hey why not end this life because it would mean the end of pain, you love life but the release of pain is something you want more than living this life so you go ahead and search ways to end it, at last I will be free you think but as opportunities come and go you don't do it.
Even a miserable life is worth it
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